Tuesday, June 3, 2008

I Must Have Missed My Negative Horiscope, Or I Would Have Stayed In Bed

This morning was pretty difficult. Why is it that the hard ones occur when Daddy and other helpers that were there a few hours before are now gone???!!!!

I was awoken by Grant, as usual, as he came storming into my room. He had tee-teed in his bed which meant he had pee all over him, which is also normal. Yes, this meant extra laundry and a bath for him, but that is my daily routine around here. No biggy. Then I walk out to the living room and step in a puddle of the dog's pee. Fabulous! I then immediately see little piles of poop around the living room. This is also Madalyn's. Still, it's okay - I can manage, although my to-do list is already piling up faster than I would have wanted. The first priority is to get Grant in the bath and then clean the dog mess. Of course, as soon as I put my plan into action, Rhett wakes up and is yelling and crying for me to get him out of bed. This only adds to the frustration, as all crying babies do. So, I go into the bathroom to bathe Grant ignoring the dog messes on the floor and the crying baby, and I discover that there is wet poop on the bathroom counter and floor. Grant informs me that Madalyn also pooped on his floor and he stepped in it when he got out of bed. He knew he had to get the poop off, so all by himself (before waking me - I am so proud of him for trying to be so grown up) he tried to clean it up. That includes the poop he stepped in and therefore spread throughout his room, but he also knew he had to clean his feet. Sure enough, the trail of poop leads right to the bathroom where he only used water to "clean" himself. We all know water does not "sanitize", so now not only is there wet poop everywhere from Grant trying to clean himself, but there is wet poop water all over the bathroom floor and Grant. This also means that all doorknobs he touched since he had been up (three in all) also had dog poop on them. (Remember that all this while the baby is screaming from his bed, and my blood pressure is rising rapidly.) I stick Grant in the tub while I begin spraying bleach everywhere, including doorknobs. I then decide to tackle the poop and urine on the floor before getting Rhett out of bed as he would crawl right through the messes. Gross! I soon discover that the disinfecting carpet cleaner I use is empty. This means I need to go to the store and buy some more as I can not have poop and pee on my floor. (Baby is still crying and Grant is still in the tub, and I am not dressed!!) I spend a good five minutes soaking the pee out of the carpet. I then place a towel over the poop places so at least we don't have to look at them or crawl/walk on them. (Baby still screaming!) I can now get Rhett out of bed. As expected, he saw Grant in the bath and wanted in as well, so I plunked him in the water and bathed both boys. As they played, I washed Grant's tee-tee wet blankie that he loves dearly in the bathroom sink so I could keep an eye on the boys. The time finally came for them to get out; so I thought... I began to let the water out and told Grant to get out first. He covered his wee-wee and said, "Just a minute." You guessed it - he was peeing in the tub water. This surprised me as he has not done this is a L-O-N-G time, but it was only fitting that it occur today. I let the water out of the tub and rebathed both boys. Good times. After getting them out and dressing them, I could dress myself. I did only the essentials ( no makeup), threw on my clothes and planned a quick trip to the store to get my carpet cleaner. I come out in the living room to gather up the boys only to find Madalyn had gotten into the trash and it looked like it had rained paper and pizza scraps. FABULOUS. I pick that up. At last - we can leave. Nope. Rhett has pooped his pants. At this point, I would have gladly handed the boys over to someone else and gone back to bed where there was no poop, pee or germ issues, but - not an option. I clean Rhett and finally take the boys to the car. Oh, wait! The car seats are in the house... I had to put Rhett back down (where upon his threw a wild banchie fit) and Grant is making firetruck siren sounds for fun as they echo in the garage (and Rhett and myself are losing our hearing). I finally install the car seats (I am now sweating and shaking from low blood sugar- too bad - can't eat now) and try to put Rhett in his first. All went well, expect that the last buckle was stuck under the seat cushion, so I had to get him back out, fix the problem and try again. Rhett throws a fit because he is confused as to why we are playing musical car seats. (Grant is still making siren sounds.) At last, I finally get all of us in the car and ready to go. I leave the driveway only to drive right back up it to retrieve the blankie Grant left in the living room (he can't go anywhere w/o it). Had it been another day, I might have made him tough it out, but there was no room for added stress today so I went back to get it.

You better believe while at the grocery store I stopped off at the Starbucks counter and treated myself to a decaf hazelnut skinny latte and a moist slice of blueberry coffee cake. I was happy and beginning to regather my wits about me. I probably scared everyone in the store since I had no makeup on, but I did not care. They would get over it, and if they didn't, I could care less.

Wish me luck for the remainder of the day. I am now behind on laundry since I have to do the pee laundry first, and there are now many messes for me to pick up. Now you know ahead of time that the kitchen floor will probably not get mopped and the mail will not be retrieved from the mailbox today since those are the LAST items on my list of priorities today. I must do laundry as we are leaving town in two days... It's amazing how you can have your day all planned out, but as soon as your feet touch the floor in the morning, all those best laid plans go to pot!


Sherry said...

Easily the most entertaining post I've read in a long time. I could picture it all so clearly!

A Blessed Wife and Mom said...

Wow. Sounds so like some of my days around here. Except for the dog poop. Which I guess takes a LOT of it out of the equation. Bless you woman. And bless Starbucks, too.